“Remember, you were all like, ‘I don’t know even know what I’m looking at.’
And I told you, ‘It’s a veggie burger.’
But you still didn’t get it. You were just like, ‘Huh…? What…? Where…?’”

“I don’t think that’s how I sounded.”

“And then I had to explain art to you, like, ‘It’s abstract, you know? It’s the essence of a veggie burger.’
And you were super impressed like, ‘I didn’t know you could paint.’
But I knew I could never lie to my best friend, so I just told you, ‘I can’t paint. I commissioned someone I found online.’
And your jaw actually dropped. You said, ‘You mean you paid someone to make…this?’”

“Yeah, I was there for all that. What did he think?”

“So he came inside from running, and he was all sweaty, which was kinda ick, but also totally hot. And he stopped right in front of the painting. I kept it completely casual, like ‘Oh, yeah, that’s your birthday present. Like it?’
He said, ‘Babe. This painting of a veggie burger is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen. I love you.’ And then”

“That’s enough. I’m assuming kinda ick, but totally hot?”

“Totally.”